May 6 12 2:56 PM

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That I could write a hoax movie.  It was surreal.  God it makes me wonder, did Michael hoax his death & leave it all behind to save his children?  I woke up with tears streaming down my face and could still feel the warmth of Michael’s hand as he placed it over my heart and mine over his and said "when ever you feel discouraged remember, I am always in your heart. Then they loaded him into the SUV, and drove away to forever. It was just before dawn 6/25/2009.  The thing is, this last conversation took place at Neverland not Carolwood Drive where in my dream, I was employed but not an employee.  It was like I was a guest there who helped with what ever needed helping with.  I did some cooking, ran some errands, some administrative tasks, watched movies with the family.  It was so odd but it felt so good until the end.  He trusted me and considered me a friend to whom he could talk to about anything, a keeper of his secrets. Wow.  What a wonderful dream, even with the sad ending.  Though sad, not heartbreaking.  He lived, but for all purposes he was dead to the world because he said that we would possibly never hear from or see him again, but that we should not worry because he was safe and he carried us in his heart.  It was as though he made a wager to go away forever and never be heard from again in order that his children could live a normal life, with a normal upbringing, without the stigma of a father who the world saw as dispensable and strange.  And in doing so, all his debts to society would be wiped clean and they could start over anew.  God he said those words in my dream, as plain as day.  

My theory has always been that Michael’s life was in danger.  But maybe it was the other way around.  Perhaps he felt that his children’s lives and their ability to live peacefully in this world depended on them being detached from him. The same with his children’s organizations that were so dear to his heart.  Without him, they all would thrive as he had had to disassociate himself with them because of the accusations and the stigma forever attached to his name as he lived.  In death however, many have once again embraced his name and his charities are still being supported through the Estate. In order to accomplish all that meant the world to him, he made the ultimate sacrifice.  To do so would certainly be the most unselfish,sacrificial offering I’ve ever heard of except for Jesus Christ himself who died that the whole world would be saved.

Maybe Michael “died” to save the ones who mattered more than anything to him, the children.  He said that all children, not only his own, was his reason to live.  To think that he was no longer able to champion for them had to be almost as finite as death itself.

But then, it was just a dream after all.  But by God, it has my mind spinning.